‘And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.’1 Corinthians 13:13 Thank God for love - the precious gift not even death can take from us. The thing that remains long after our special person has left this world....

January 2024 Ben’s sudden death was our family’s epochal moment - and not in a good way. It changed the course of our lives. In the blink of an eye everything looked different, felt different and will always be different. However, something I never expected to...

7th October 2023 Five years ago today, Paul took this precious photo of Ben as he ran towards us, smiling his beautiful smile; touching our hands with his fingers as he ran past. Five years ago today Ben asked me to message deep heat into his...

“I miss you, not just once in a while, but every minute of every day. I miss your smile, your beautiful soul. I miss you in the quiet moments, and in the crowded rooms filled with laughter. But most of all, I miss the joy...

The healing power of nature June 2023 It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog and have to admit to feeling a little apprehensive. Stepping out of life seems to have partially shut down my brain. Maybe it’s my heart trying to protect my head or...

March 2023 We do a lot of staring into sunsets - it’s where we see him 💛 “Grief is love’s shadow. The presence of absence. An unbearable weight of emptiness” - John Mark Green If you have recently lost your darling child - I’m so so sorry. Right now...

February 2023 The kitchen table - 2023 “life has been painfully splitinto a “before” and “after”my heart won’t let me forget. “before”is full of memories,of time spent with youand an ache thatit wasn’t enoughthat i needed moreto hold on to. “after”is full of memoriesthat should havehad you...

2022 into 2023 Artwork by domtsoi.com (Ben’s friend) I struggle every time someone wishes me ‘happy new year’ and can’t quite bring myself to say it back. Happy isn’t what it used to be - and how can we possibly assume a new year will be happy? 2018...

September 2022 - almost 4 years without Ben I often wonder why I keep writing - why after almost four years I haven’t managed to get to grips with grief. Why it’s such a complex and multifaceted enigma! But of course it’s not that easy -...