September 2021 Jude’s blackboard - Arusha Tanzania September 2018 - three years ago. I wrote this message on the blackboard at my friend’s Tanzanian apartment just a few weeks before Ben died. My husband Paul and I were having the most awesome three-week dream holiday in Africa....

August 2021 ‘Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory’ - Dr Seuss It’s strange the things that randomly pop into your head. Simple little events that didn’t seem particularly significant at the time suddenly become beautiful memories that we thought...

June 2021 “I’ve become intimately aware of the sacred dance between despair and gratefulness. I refuse to allow the tragedy of his death to negate the beauty of his life, the depth of his impact, and the sheer joy with which he lived his days.” ⁃ Lexi...

May 2021 ‘The language of grief is spoken in silence, often through tears and insurmountable pain but it is also spoken in great love. For every tear wept and every ounce of pain felt, love is felt tenfold’. - Jessi Snapp Grief is not the same as...

April 2021 “Yellow is the perceived color of sunshine. It is associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy.” ⁃ Marcia Moses Photo taken just months before Ben diedhttp://www.drewmcdonald.photography/ If your child has died I’m sure you will completely understand the significance of holding on to anything that reminds us...

March 2021 “And I know you bore our sorrows And I know you feel our pain And I know it would not hurt any less Even if it could be explained"              - Rich Mullins It’s two and a half years since Ben died. There are...

I search for threads of you Everywhere I go I find you in the small crevices of life and in the bottomless canyons I find you in the ordinary beige moments and in conspicuous beauty I long for morsels of your presence In everything I do ...

Stepping into 2021 - our third year without Ben. ‘I’m a mother who has folded into her grief. I’m growing a new life around my loss - not in spite of the grief, but because of it. Grief is my teacher. There is wisdom in the...

June 2019 - 9 months without Ben “Those who go through the darknessNever come out the sameAnd it’s true what they sayThat it takes a part of you awayBut what many will never understandIs that it leaves something in returnA strength that will never breakAnd...