the one moment…

Learning to live again following the death of a child

“Every day I replay you…. your every detail. I don’t want to lose a single memory. I’d rather the pain of remembering than to forget the feeling of happiness.“
– Renata Suzuki

Ben McDonald

1993 – 2018

one moment…

On 7th October 2018 Ben died. He was twenty five.

One moment everything was normal, then it wasn’t.

One moment we had a complete family, then we didn’t.

‘I used to think things like this only happened to someone else…

Now I know – we’re all someone else to someone else!’

Everyone grieves differently, every family is unique and everyone has their own story. But grief hurts for us all and when you lose someone special it changes your world. Forever. Nothing will be the same again. And I now know there are some things you can’t possibly understand until you’ve lived them. I simply had no idea it would be like this!

I’ve found unexpected comfort in connecting with other broken people who share this same kind of grief so I keep writing to clear my head and try and make some sense of what we probably all feel.

It would be an honour if you would join me on this heartbreak journey – one that we certainly didn’t choose, definitely don’t want and could never have anticipated!

Please feel free to use my Facebook page to keep in touch. I’d love to hear from you. @theonemoment2020

With love

Ruth xx

  • August 2022 “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow The Bible tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1:19). Good advice of course!! I grew up trying to live......

  • July 2022 ‘Parental grief is forever boundless, an ever-present, deep-seated wound that has no name. There’s a reason no label has been ascribed to those who have lost a child — it is too foreign a concept, a much too chaotic form of brain freeze,......

  • April 2022 Inverted: ‘Changed from the normal position by being turned upside down or arranged in the opposite order’ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/inverted Absence is the opposite of presence. When a precious child dies everything is inverted. Our lives feel like they’ve been turned upside down and rearranged......

  • March 2022 Life grinds to a halt when you lose a loved one. It feels like you’re suspended in a time warp – stuck between the life you knew and the life you don’t want to know. You can’t go back and dread going forward.......

  • February 2022 It’s now over three years since our world fell apart. 39 months since our darling boy happily walked out through the front door and never came home. 1213 days of barely functioning under the weight of the worst pain I have ever known......

  • December 2021 ‘From the outside looking in you can never understand and from the inside looking out you can never explain…’ Three years ago I remember staring at this image and reading the words over and over again. I found it hard to believe that......