On 7th October 2018 normal ended and we have had to watch life go on without our darling boy.
One moment life was normal, then it wasn’t.
One moment we had a complete family, then we didn’t.
‘I used to think things like this only happened to someone else…
Now I know – we’re all someone else to someone else!’
Everyone grieves differently, every family is unique and everyone has their own story. Your story will be different to mine but whatever your loss – your world will have collapsed and changed forever. I now know there are some things you can’t possibly understand until you’ve lived them.
I’ve found unexpected comfort in being in the company of other hurting people who know something of what my kind of grief is like. I write to try and make some sense of what we all feel.
I’m trying to hold onto to any little nuggets of hope that give me just enough strength to keep putting one foot tentatively in front of the other – taking one day at a time.
It would be an honour if you would join me on this unbelievably heartbreaking journey of trying to live without our darling children.
Please feel free to use my Facebook page to keep in touch. I’d love to hear from you. @theonemoment2020
With love
March 2021 2 years 5 months 126 weeks 882 days … without Ben ‘To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.’ ⁃ CS Lewis I was standing at the kitchen sink last night......
08 March, 2021
I search for threads of you Everywhere I go I find you in the small crevices of life and in the bottomless canyons I find you in the ordinary beige moments and in conspicuous beauty I long for morsels of your presence In everything I......
16 February, 2021
Stepping into 2021 – our third year without Ben. ‘I’m a mother who has folded into her grief. I’m growing a new life around my loss – not in spite of the grief, but because of it. Grief is my teacher. There is wisdom in......
01 February, 2021
June 2019 – 9 months without Ben “Those who go through the darknessNever come out the sameAnd it’s true what they sayThat it takes a part of you awayBut what many will never understandIs that it leaves something in returnA strength that will never breakAnd......
09 January, 2021
Christmas Eve 2020… How do you pull yourself together when you’re battered, bruised and broken? I’m sad and that’s understandable – my amazing gorgeous youngest child died two years ago. He was twenty five. I’m allowed to be sad but it’s the other emotions that......
27 December, 2020
‘Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.’ ⁃ Desmond Tutu My third December without our darling Ben and this one will definitely go down on record as being the weirdest – not just for me but for......
12 December, 2020